Spider-Man: Homecoming

What's the title? Spider-Man: Homecoming

Who directed it? Jon Watts

When was it released? 2017

What’s it rated? Pg-13 for sci-fi action violence, some language, and brief suggestive comments

Would I recommend it? Yes. With the exception of Guardians of the Galaxy, Homecoming is the most colorful and comic-booky of recent superhero movies and a solid entry into the genre as a whole. I’d also say it’s the most kid-friendly as well. (A viewing buddy disagreed with me on this pointing out language and the odd innuendo, but my viewing buddy is wrong. If I had a small one in my life, this is the superhero movie I would watch with them. Hands down, literally no exceptions.)

I did not capital L love it the way that others in the geekdom have, but I think if you like tights and capes, you’ll like Homecoming. If you don’t like tights and capes, that’s fine, but may I humbly ask what you are doing on this site?

What's it about?(non-spoilers) After his adventures in Germany with Tony Stark, aka Iron Man, Peter Parker is all ready to take his Spider-Maning to the next level – but Tony seems content to let him piddle away his time in his Queens neighborhood. Desperate to prove himself, Peter gets himself in the cross hairs of Vulture, an arms dealer of alien artifacts, and finds himself over his head. There’s also a best friend and a girl and a concerned aunt because this Peter has a high school life.

What did you think? (spoilers) There’s a Tumblr post that, in so many words, states that you know you’re an adult when you watch The Little Mermaid and find yourself siding with Triton over Ariel. Children see Ariel’s attempts to take her life into her own hands and go on land to find her true love as empowering and aspirational. It’s only as an adult that one can see Triton’s perspective - that maybe he shouldn’t indulge his teenage daughter’s actions considering they’re motivated by a crush on a guy she has never spoken to and could result in her death or quite possibly all of Atlantica being exposed to the humans.

I was reminded of this post because the whole time I was watching Spider-Man: Homecoming I was overcome by a desire to grab Peter by his ear and tell him to stop being so reckless and impulsive and to KNOCK IT THE FRICK OFF. Every time Peter went out on his own all I could think was WHAT ARE YOU DOING - GO HOME. Literally every time he left I felt genuine terror because HE IS A FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLD BOY. You know he’s gonna screw it up and get himself hurt. So I guess my real take away from Homecoming was that I am no longer a child. I am firmly on the side of the adults. No more wide-eyed wonder for me, just give me black coffee and tax returns.

Besides how my inner being is that much closer to the abyss, another thing Homecoming revealed to me about myself is that I’m just not that much of a Spider-Man fan. “But, wait, Emiline,” you say. “You recommended this Spider-Man movie. Doesn’t that mean you have to have liked this Spider-Man movie?” Well, one, no it doesn’t, but two, I did, in fact, like this movie. I even like Tom Holland as Spidey. I certainly thought he was better than his two predecessors (though to be fair, it would’ve been hard to be worse, for their separate and still so disappointing reasons.) Here’s the thing. With the past movie incarnations, I’ve blamed my distaste for Peter on the casting or the writing. But Homecoming had great casting and solid(ish) writing. And I still didn’t find Peter all that compelling of a character. I get that for a lot of people Peter Parker and Spider-Man are the G.O.A.T. when it comes to comic characters. And that’s awesome for them. It’s not like I don’t understand why a person would love Peter. I just don’t. I feel it necessary to put that up front before we get into this review. We good? Everything out in the open? Great, let’s continue.

Like I said, Tom Holland is a great Peter. I would say that he’s arguably the best Peter to be put to screen. He felt like a nerd. Most importantly, he felt like a kid. In addition to his character, I thought Peter’s world was well fleshed. His Queens actually looked like Queens (as far as I know; I’m no Queens expert), which is ironic considering the movie was filmed mostly in Atlanta. His Queens is diverse and colorful and vibrant. Sure, it’s still a movie about a young white dude being mentored by an older white dude fighting another old white dude. But, hey, the side characters are diverse, and the love interest got to be biracial and the best friend is a POC. Speaking of the best friend, Ned also happens to be a delight. The payoff at the end when he finally gets to be the guy in the chair was so satisfying. I think Ned’s friendship with Peter was one of the highlights of the film for me.

You know another highlight? Tony. I know people have questioned his role in this film, saying he’s more of a villain for Peter than Vulture and that he’s a scold and that RDJ was phoning it in, but all of that is horse manure. First off, RDJ IS Tony Stark and we all know it, so even if he was phoning it there is no world where his Tony wouldn’t be Tony. Also, Tony’s role here makes sense for his arc in the MCU thus far. He’s reached too far too many times and it resulted in Ultron and him losing (nearly) all his super friends. He’s trying desperately to save Peter from the same fate. And, yeah, he mucks it up here and there, but of course he does - HE’S TONY. He also gets it right occasionally. He tries to be supportive, video chatting Peter to let the kid know he’s proud of him. That’s good. He takes Peter’s work seriously, passing on a valid tip to the FBI. Another good, responsible mentor reaction was taking the suit away, and no, this is not him being a scold or a wet blanket. This is an appropriate consequence for Peter’s actions, and it’s fracking ridiculous that Tony“I do what I want” Stark is the only one in this movie that seems capable of providing Peter with that kind of guidance (but more on that later).

Really, quickly, before I move too far from the Tony front, I would like to add to the record that I straight up SQUEALED when Pepper showed up at the end. People have been glossing over her cameo, but NO. I REFUSE TO GLOSS OVER THIS. Because the last I had heard of Pepper was that she and Tony were broken up circa Civil War and I assumed Paltrow had gone the way of Portman’s Jane and that saddened me because I LIKE Pepper but then she showed up and it’s heavily implied that Tony PROPOSED to her and THAT means we will likely get to see more of one of the few good MCU love interests/female characters and I love what their relationship’s progression would mean for Tony’s evolution as a character and it all made my fangirl soul very happy.

Okay, now that I got that run-on sentence of emoting over, I can proceed to arguably the best part of the movie – Adrian Toomes. That’s right, I said it, a villain was a MAJOR strength of a Marvel movie. Despite the MCU’s less than stellar track-record with villains, it’s not a surprise for Toomes to be so great. For one, he’s played by recently renaissanced Michael Keaton, who has always been a great actor and also happens to know his way around a superhero property. In addition to Keaton’s performance, Toomes is great on the page as well. This is a character with a valid argument. Sure, he’s got a chip on his shoulder, he’s greedy, he’s ruthless, but he also has a point, and it’s easy to his side of things even if you don’t agree with him. He’s not pure evil or malicious. He is, however, fudging TERRIFYING. Conflating the terror of “meeting the girl’s dad” by having Liz’s dad revealed to be the supervillain was brilliant on a plot and dramatic level. I knew Toomes’s kid was going to have to show up at some point in the narrative – the premium he put on his family made it impossible for the kid not to play some kind of role – but it wasn’t until Peter was walking up the steps to the house that I realized what was coming. When Toomes opens the door, even with the narrative premonition, the reveal felt like a gut punch. Those scenes, at Toomes’s house and in his car, were brilliantly executed and I could hardly breathe throughout because while I believed that Toomes didn’t want to kill his daughter’s pubescent date, I also believed that he would if Peter crossed him.

Speaking of his daughter, Liz was a solid love interest. I appreciated that I could understand why Peter would have a crush on her as a person as opposed to film resting on its laurels of “teenage boy likes hot chick”. Liz exhibited intelligence and leadership skills. She had ambitions of her own. Peter may give a flying flip about the academic decathlon, but she certainly cares. She’s also compassionate. For instance, when Peter jeopardizes the decathlon by bailing – after she specifically told him how important it was to her – she doesn’t get angry with him. She just wants to make sure he’s okay. In fact, she’s so chill with him, she happily agrees to go to the dance with him. A dance at which he bails on her. Again. And then when she sees him again – after her whole world has been turned upside down with the arrest of her father after the reveal of his status of a supervillain resulting in her mother moving her literally across the continent away from everyone and everything she knows and loves – she still doesn't lash out at Peter. Sure she cries a little, but she doesn’t yell or tell him to piss off. They end the conversation on relatively good terms.

I’m sorry, but if I had had that crap happen to me when I was fifteen, I would be in the emotional headspace to yell at a yorkiepoo puppy, stringing together expletives that would make a sailor blush. I can only imagine the evisceration I would aim toward the feckless little dickhead who bailed on me twice. Now, in the past, I’ve had to suffer through love interests who were whiney, fun-sucking harpies that sit like black holes in the middle of the film ruining everything they touch. I don’t like those girls. I don’t know why they keep getting put in movies. But this? This epitome of the Amy Dunn “cool girl”? This is not what I meant when I wanted something different.

In Liz’s defense, she’s not the only one here who gives Peter an exceptionally easy time of things. With the previously mentioned exception of Tony, no one ever reprimands him. No one ever even raises their voice to him. He runs off from a school trip and not once is there a threat of suspension. He just gets a kind hand on the shoulder, making sure he’s okay and then gets assigned detention – on which he bails. Yet another action for which he receives zero consequences. I get having a support system for children, and I don’t think every infraction needs to be met with punishment. But MY GOD. I’d find this kind of coddling egregious in a Montessori preschool. And then there’s Aunt May.

Look, if Liz is the “cool girl” then Aunt May is the “cool aunt”. We know because she’s played by Marisa Tomei and literally every male she crosses can’t help but comment on how hot she is. But when Peter comes home late after the Staten Ferry debacle, she barely starts to get into proper worry mode before she’s deflated and hugging him, reassuring him. I’m sorry, but didn’t she just go through a loss? It isn’t stated in this film – there’s just an offhand comment about how she’s going through a hard time – but wasn’t she just widowed? And now, the only family she presumably has, her ward, is missing during this huge disaster and when he finally comes home all the emotion just POOF. Gone. Let’s only focus on supporting Peter here. NO. That’s not how moms work. I don’t know a mother/female guardian alive who under those circumstances would not have given Peter a good five minute tear-filled YOU CAN’T GO RUNNING OFF AND SCARING ME LIKE THAT YOU ARE GROUNDED YOUNG MAN speech. Also, did the school not contact her and let her know Peter ran off during the decathlon? Or if they did, did she also not bother to discipline him? Is she his guardian or just the lady who cleans the apartment and buys the take-out?

“But, Emiline,” you say. “Why should he be punished? All the stuff he did – bailing on Liz, being out of pocket during the ferry disaster – he did that for a good reason.” Okay, you and I know that, because we’re in the audience. Liz and May and the school – none of them know any of that. We can be understanding; they don’t know there’s anything about which to be understanding. Consequently, none of these people seem like real people. Real people would be freaking out on the flake who isn’t keeping up with his studies, is being irresponsible and insensitive to his friends and family. Real people would be angry at Peter. Which, again, I’m no expert, but isn’t that kind of the hallmark of Spider-Man stories in the past? Being Spider-Man means people are going to be angry with Peter, they’re going to give him a hard time. Spider-Man isn’t some cool fun thing Peter does. Being Spider-Man is a burden, a weight, a responsibility. Peter wants a life of his own, and friends, and a girlfriend. But he can’t have any of that because he has to be Spider-Man, and he has to be Spider-Man because he was taught that with great power comes great responsibility. That’s what was missing from Homecoming for me – that message and the man it came from.

Don’t get me wrong. I did not need another Spider-Man origin story, but I don’t think they even say Uncle Ben’s name this entire film. I assume that in this iteration of the character Uncle Ben existed and that he died and that it was, obliquely, Peter’s fault, but I don’t know that. I’m making that assumption based on the comics and previous films, but those events have not been made text in this film. It wouldn’t have taken much to make it text – May catching Peter crying over a photo and her saying, “I miss him too, but he would’ve been proud of you, you know.” That’s it, all you’d need. But Homecoming avoids Uncle Ben completely, and with him goes the core, the heart of who Spider-Man really is. He’s a kid who’s forced into responsibility too soon and doing his best to figure it out. But it’s hard to be that character when literally no one except Tony Stark holds you responsible for any of your actions.

It’s easy to get distracted by all that’s great with Homecoming because there is a lot that is really, truly great. Showing how much Spider-Man is tied to his environment by having his powers be all but useless in the suburbs. Filling the world with color and pizzazz. Zendaya doing the best Ally Sheedy in Breakfast Club since Ally Sheedy in Breakfast Club. The Captain America cameos. Donald Glover, both in his actual performance and what his character means for the Spidey world as a whole. The humor and the fun. Homecoming feels like a comic book story in a comic book world. But ultimately it’s all shallow. It’s texture and color, fizz and bright wrapping paper. Punch through, and what you find is pretty hollow.

What does Peter learn over the course of the film? How does he change? The movie ends with Peter refusing to join the Avengers, for now, happy to be a friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man. But how did he make that decision? What happened that changed him? And, yeah, I know what happened to him. A lot of stuff happened. But at no point was the movie cluing me into how what was happening affected Peter to change. And, sure, by the end Peter makes a decision that he wouldn’t have made in the beginning, but putting a swelling musical score behind that decision doesn’t give it any dramatic or thematic resonance, nor does it distract from how that decision is logically incoherent. Nothing was earned here. And Peter earns nothing that I can tell over the course of the film. He makes no sacrifices.

“So you like the movie, you just hate Peter? Is that what you’re saying?” you may be asking. No, I don’t hate Peter. Yes, I’m not a huge Spider-Man fan, and, yes, I think Homecoming provides a hollow journey for an entitled Peter. But I have hope because after the final fight, as Toomes lies surrounded by a swirling inferno, Peter does not hesitate. He jumps in and pulls Toomes out. This fifteen-year-old mess of a kid does not hesitate to risk his life to save someone who has threatened to destroy his whole world. This is what I want. I can’t think of one other superhero we’ve seen in the MCU who has done that, who has ended their final fight saving the Big Bad. Over in the DCEU, Diana spared Dr. Poison, but Ares for sure got a beatdown (granted he’s more the embodiment of evil than a person, but still). Superman cracks Zod’s neck. Batman did his whole “I don’t have to save you” thing. But where is the other instance of the hero risking their life for the villain that literally just tried to murder them and threatened to kill everyone they loved? That one action is in equal measure an incredibly mature and incredibly naïve thing to do. That’s who Spider-Man should be. I’d like to see more of that kid in the coming movies.

Images: IMDb, WiffleGif, GIPHY, IMGFLIP

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